Ending is coming

It is so soon that the end of this story will be ended. As i have to say it has never happened. It is just like the feel of having someone to be with and it will be not the same forever. Things might get sad.

I luaghed at one who being so fool about love or something they call 'Love' and she has expressed it out. How about me myself, I Can't do anything, but the fooler. I have to ask God why he has created me with people I feel so cold when I am with them? Or I dump myself to be like this.


i am holding on this even i know I'll be the one who gets hurt so just let it go now better to have an injured feeling


Bye bye and thank you for a good past time that I have with you.

GAILOi

The Month of Loneliness :)

June 13, 2011

The close distant doesn't make people feel the warm but cold. It is sadder than havinh no one!


Am I in the very desperately emotion?

:0
BE Strong!

-*- huh--- -NO WORDs-

What the hank!!!
I finished my writing but they were all gone!

koh Mook, Trang
Stay at Koh Mook resort:
3 days and two nights

The HAte That Person who is always being liar and unfaithful so far

Lover Of Koh Mook

the first goodbye was said to one of leaving person

It is sad to think of saying goodbye to people we know but it is true that we have to always speak that word out.
I just said goodbye to a co-worker that I thought it would be the end of this month. It was the first one for now and I don't know how many times I will keep doing this thing in this month.

I don't know how lomg will I stand this situation? I hate to know something that i can't leak them out from my month for If I just say it, this will effect to my onw life.

Farewell month, the month of JUne 2011!!

How do I have without you?

It is a question came into my mind "How can I live without you?". It is not difficult to answer but hard to get through the feeling of having someone who you can lean on for such short leght of time.

Most of poeple whom I hang out with said they might be away in June. The coming month where is waiting for me to be just myself if those are gone. I have no words to pull them here becuase if their hearts are not with the place how can one hold on them? I am now trying to hold myself in and effort to get used to the old way I have lived before.

Most of my writing is only the lonely feeling words, I should really get used to this emotion of mine.

May 24, 2011
Gai

May will be ended soon!

The pass few months i have been fun with a new friend and some others whom I may call friends. I felt a bit not being lonely for awhile. It was good to have someone with me always. This became my routine which I wouldn't like it to end now (in my sense). I wish it was just a dream that I had been in there for a short period of time. So it is now the time to wake up and see the real hard world.

I have never expected that this kind of feeling would happen to me. This is hurt more than the thing during last Christmas. I would be sadder if that one is being a bad one. He is too nice to let me feel this way. I shouldn't let myelf trap my own heart and see my own soul being in this stage.

I hope this feeling would be gone and I will be back to be my own self soon. Mayby this will be a curse that I will have to be alone even though I hate to be alone to death. I know myself better to know my own soul that I shouldn't be alone in this world. But time to time, I try hard to accept this thing. Always God puts Someone whom I thought I would rely on. Leter I found out that it wasn't. Hurting but not crying coz I hold my tear inside my spirite. i always tell it not to show any emotions that people will see YOU are such a loser.

Being me better not to have anyone with for they will be gone sooner that I can control myself. They are factors that i couldn't control.

SOngkran Happy DAY but SAD

Here I was in Songkran celebretion with La Flora Resort& Spa! I paid attation to all my jobs. I was having fun with all guests. But I felt that I was taking andavance from my co-workers. I shouldn't feel this. Even I don't want to tell them, I just can keep it. I am saying I am not taking advantage from them. However, It is not in a greedy way. Here I felt I knew what they wanted just to use me for their own good. It is complecated for what would like to tell poeple. I am just a normal person who is having all kinds of emotions. WHy don't you just taka a look closer to my face and see what I really am being now. It is again I consider myself to leave my workplace for my own sake. I can't hold this feeling anymore. People here don't listen, they only talk about what they need to have done. I am tired. COuld thy just leave me to do my jobs..... HURT Can't heal in a day!

Here we go APril!

The month of March passed by not so soon, anyway April is here now. I am having less time here at La Flora. I hope I can learn a lot of things even though I have only 59 days left. It takes time for a week I haven't talked to my boss as I have nothing I wanna talk to him. When I see my boss, I don't have any feeling for my jobs anymore. It really makes me sick. Even his voice pulls me down. However, I also wanna thank him at least I learn a lot of things both good and bad. I learned how to manage poeple and enjoy seeing poeple getting jealousy (It is not good for this one.) I am so tired now.

there are 65 days

Here we go! I still have 65 days left here at the working place. I hope i could survive.


I have learned here so far that people can't be trusted and they are unfriendly when I am a n0-use person for them. They try to do many things to kick me off but I would like to tell them that they don't need to do. For I am planning to leave when there is the time.

I feel so deathful inside my spirit and I can't smile like I was before.
This is n0t good at all. I will lose myself if I still be here.

From

The least person who have the biggest mamangement team would like to kick out.

:) :) :0

Special HOT issue

To shawna, Please do not miss to read this one!

Dear Shawna,

As I have talked to you about the IT guy who looked nice and not being a liar. The thoery of mine still is useful and the things are, first of all I thought he was (is) a play boy; the truth is HE is really a PLAYER and I am right about this. But we were, are and will be just good co-workers. The second is as he has told me he didn't have a girlfriend, the thing is He diffinitely has a GIRLFRIEND somewhere in Phuket. How do I know? The answered is

'A while ago (when I was writing this message) I was sitting at the IT ROOM becuase I can't breathe out at the Front office' so I moved in here. Then K. Hau called and asked him about his biography. The question that let me knew whether he has a girl friend or not was "who should the HR contact in the emergency case?" At first he wanted to answer to tell his mother's name but finally he's got to say his girlfriend's one. hahaha I am so intelligent to get the right imformation.

Huh! Suck my breath in and NO MORE play! haha Too short again. It didn't take a month yet. HUH!

At least the theory of the southern guy can't be trusted is still the best theory.

Thanks God for letting me know so fast.

LOve you,

Show-na

from Ngu Hao

(Preriod: 22 days)

NO MORE SODA! huh

Counting is on the 77th day of working

Since Shawna has left here, there are many things changing here. first of all, the new excursion manager who looks like a girl more than I do(Now I call him as a girl and I myself am a boy) in the way I talk, the way I walk. haha! Then, I am now working most of the time in front of the resident manager where I can always hear the sound of the front Head Wtich. This makes me sick to death. However, it is great to work inside the building like this because I can sneak out of the sun. This will be benefit for my skin complex. hahaha (i just try to cheer myself up.) Besides, poeple talk about me less than before. (i actually don't want to have a conversation with them for cutting all problems that might happen.) This is like a chicken way to do things but I feel that it is easier to make it it this way.
Last week I just had got to take the TOIEC examination which made some of the front office poeple hated me more because i was the only person who took this exam out of La Flora. I need to do this since I am orginally working as an English teacher. Then then boss asked me to oserve so I just couldn't walk in and watch. Therefore, I asked to join the exam. It didn't cost any baht too. So I can keep this record for applying for a job in the other place as well. (what a good plan!) Salute! the result of having the exam is making them more jealous and talking ridiculy about me when I am in the office with out the boss. It makes me wanna die three times a day.
There is one good thing here now as there is a new IT supervisor, Oil as we (I guess) can talk nonsense to each other. I also can be just like myself when I am with him. I don't like being an adult. I hope he will like this all the time until I resign from here. He is ataully like a friend to me and this makes a little bit more fun at work.
(to be continuous...)

Mar 7, 2011 - June 7, 2011

This is the first day, I started counting as the last ninety days in my La flora Resort & Spa. I hope there will be lots of things waiting for me to face. I am not afriad either it is good or bad. I have survived for 9 months with strange people. How can I not be alive with thr last ninety days. Let see what will happen in these last bueatiful ninety day at the lovely workplace and nice co-workers. I heard that there are the same like other hotels. People get jealous at each other. The BIG is afraid of losing the CHAIR. As I am a very least person got that kind of thing too. They don't need to be fear of me because I am not good but I try and see things differently from their prospective. I like to have an eye for problems where I can improve things to be better. At the same time I learn things fast. This is way I was got hurt from what I have done here.
I am so tired in fighting (I am not really fighting though.) Here I have learned that people are not sincere to each other, they talk to each other when they need something or when they have the same goal for what they want. People have an affair. Most of them as I have seen so far. This is another thing i couldn't have done. I don't think that I was better but I just can't do that. I don't dare to get a boyfriend here because I am not so sure whether he has wives or kids in the other place or not. Of course, it is mot a will of the LOrd for what he wants me to do.
i dont want to regret if I have done something that I know I shouldn't do it. I tried to keep my mouth shout. But they also tried to open it up. I have a very bad word so I didn't want to let it out.
I am so exhuasted for what I am doing now. My face and my eyes are always not like the person I am. The person who is always happy not even care for what will be in the future. I was and am now watch my back and keep an eye for poeple who wanted to take me down and let me down. However I am who I am. I couldn't be sad more tahna three days and I can be bAck with my usaul life and self. I am having fun watching them laugh at me, and think that I was in my depressed situation and had no way out. These things shall not be in my heart. I attempted to be nice to anyone but they didn't take the nice part, they needed the bad side which I couldn't understand.
To be Continuous
I try to write at least 3 days a week for my counting days.
This will be the last day of Shawna who has been at La Flora with me for a few months. I wouldn't have this much fun if I don't have her here with me in the last two months.

Year 2011 working in the Hotel for a year

My first day of working at the Hotel called 'La Flora Resort & Spa' as an English teacher on June 7, 2010. It was my first day at work which was so new to me because I have never thought I would like to work in the place where I had hundreds workers as I would love to have a peaceful life.

I had to make a test and interviewed them one by one for the entire hotel. Some of them were nice but some wasnt. Most of people who could spoke English thought that they didn't need to learn as they were already good. I admited that some of them could communicate to the guests but really correct grammatic way. So, few of them didn't like me when I put them in the lower lavel than they imagined.

My first class was with about 20 poeple in the room. (They were like 150 people altogether.) Most of them thought that I was the Fillino at the first time. Most of my gentlemen students made fun of my classes and made all the silly comments esp. the Sport and the restaurant team. I was mad to death but I could give them any hint that I was. As for the ladies students, some of them thought and think that theirs is great and most of the words they know so how could i help them to get better when they didn't admit that they needed to change it. Moverover, I had and have very cute students who tried to learn as hard as they could and they always said thar "I am old and I can catch up with the lessons" so I tried my best to help them. All of them both gave a couragement and discouragement.

I have been teaching them until the begining of September. Then i started doing differnt kinds of jobs; selling trips, MCing, helping the RM and doing some jobs which were similar to the secretary position. Therefore, it is fun to me as I like to think and use my brain better than just giving a thing in my head. "I mean teaching even I love that job even I might get bored time to time" SO I saw the different view points when I walked with the RM as he manages the whole hotel and handles both guests' problems and staff's. Moreover, I have to think also what i could make it better to improve the whole hotel. I have the direct order from HIM and the Owner what to do and tell it to whom. This caused more problems as i wasn't a manager not even. Most of the managers and a lot of staffs thought that I liked to order things for them to do but I was ordered by the highest supreme people (RM and The OWNER) to ask the others what to do. It is my fault to have done those things. If it is 'yes', it means I should have told anyone and work all the works by my own hands but how can I finished them?

The same situattion but different story, it is hard for me to get along with some co-worker as I most of the time could eat or talk about something that they did. They thought that I was so proud, arrogant, pride and all kinds these words I could write all of them. As I am a single lady who hasn't a boyfriend here; they thought that I choose too much. The truth is every guy here has a girl or wife but they mostly said "I am a single" and most of them have thousands of lovers. How can I stand this situation. I just can't be one of theirs. I almost made a mistake for the one guy who looked like a sincere guy and gentleman. He spoke nicely. Forturnately as I was very curious so I had been asking the whole time what things he wanted to get from me. The result was they (his afriends and himself might bet on me who would got me in the trap). After that while I thought to myself I have dug my graveyard in the working place but it wasn't that bad. At least I learned a lesson not to trust people who acted nicely esp. guys because they are totally different. (I thought that all poeple can be good even though they hang out with the bad guys.) huh!! that I guessed it was the most expensive lesson.

When you work with thousand of co-workers, it is easy to have people discuss about you (as they call 'gossip'). And when you work with the BIG boss, you easily get jealous by without knowing. I have noticed that we shouldn't be open to poeple we are not sure that they are trustworthy. You can be friends, but not close until you get hurt.

This is not a good story and I even pray and forgive them and I tried hard everyday.

By June 7th, 2011, I will have been working at the First hotel of La Flora Resort & Spa for a year. It might be the last day of my working day here as I plan to resign on May 7, 2011.