The pass few months i have been fun with a new friend and some others whom I may call friends. I felt a bit not being lonely for awhile. It was good to have someone with me always. This became my routine which I wouldn't like it to end now (in my sense). I wish it was just a dream that I had been in there for a short period of time. So it is now the time to wake up and see the real hard world.
I have never expected that this kind of feeling would happen to me. This is hurt more than the thing during last Christmas. I would be sadder if that one is being a bad one. He is too nice to let me feel this way. I shouldn't let myelf trap my own heart and see my own soul being in this stage.
I hope this feeling would be gone and I will be back to be my own self soon. Mayby this will be a curse that I will have to be alone even though I hate to be alone to death. I know myself better to know my own soul that I shouldn't be alone in this world. But time to time, I try hard to accept this thing. Always God puts Someone whom I thought I would rely on. Leter I found out that it wasn't. Hurting but not crying coz I hold my tear inside my spirite. i always tell it not to show any emotions that people will see YOU are such a loser.
Being me better not to have anyone with for they will be gone sooner that I can control myself. They are factors that i couldn't control.
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