It is hard to admit that I miss Bangkok. I miss the night life even I didn't g o out much and I miss my freedom where I could go by myself lots in Bangkok. SOmetimes, I am super tired to wait for people and to let the poeple wait for me because it wasn't normal for me. I could do whatever I want. Then I didn't need to care those people would like it or not. On the other hand, I have to do those things I hate here. I have to wait even though I don't want to. I have to follow those poeople who don't quilify to be leader.
I don't wanna admit that sometimes I felt that I made a mistake to come down here for many reasons. Most of the time, I just told myself it was because of my silliness for making this decision. However I don't wanna say living here are both happiness and sadness at the same time. 
I living here with the other one who is also the new wprker. She is kinda nice person so far for me. I just really hope that we will really become friends. As i am not trusting people for a long time. So it is difficult for me to learn how to love without being comaparison. that makes me stuggle with what I have in my mind. This again I wish God will teach me how to accept the help and how to live with other people for i am not good at it at all. She seems to be something totally different from me, both habit and Physical.
It must be tougher from now on and I know I must lean on God. I myself like to do tasks by myself. Till I guass that God could not stand to see me become like vegetable dying bit by bit. He just want me to go back to him and put everything with him. All my hope, all my fear, and all things in my life shall be leave them to God . I know for sure he wants the best things for me.
I put al my doubt and all bad attitude to him.
let he heal alll of us who work in this office and he will help us to learn how to accept each other and love each other as Christ's love.
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